December 19, 2007. At the time, it seemed amazing to me that the hospital would just let us leave with a baby. With, what I thought an absence of any skills whatsoever to care for a newborn, they assisted us to our car and said goodbye. What the heck do we do next?
We arrived back at home to a warm welcome by my parents and our two chocolate Labrador Retrievers. Let the games begin!
The first diaper change at home. What a fiasco! We hadn't completed Zeke's room before he was born. There was too much to do for the holidays, so we set up his crib in our room and had yet to set up any sort of changing station. So onto the dining table he went for his first change since arriving home. There was no sort of organization going on, which absolutely drove me nuts. Off came the diaper, there was poo everywhere. We had him circumcised and were told to clean it by squirting it with water, and after what seemed like shooting a half a gallon of water at him, the poo would not come off. We gently tried to dab it, but just ended up in irritating the little guy and Zeke started screaming. I had no idea what to do. For the first time, I felt the effects of an emotional post-partum roller coaster and started crying. Ian called the hospital that we had left only half an hour ago with our first problem. I knew they shouldn't have let us leave. But crisis averted, just put on more Vaseline and it will be okay. We soon found this to be true because as soon as we got the next diaper on him, he pooped again, we took off that diaper and, lo and behold, the poo was gone! Was everything going to be this action packed?
Things finally settled down and we got situated to nurse. Zeke got the hang of it almost right from the start. I think it took me longer to figure out how to position and hold him correctly. But what at joy! To be able to single-handedly provide everything he needs to grow made me feel so happy.
Every day got a little easier. Sleeping got better, feeding got better, we started to be able to figure out how to do this parenting stuff. The fact that he was truly here to stay didn't really hit me until about a month after he was born. It took me ten and a half months from when we found out we were pregnant to fully realize that we were parents, but I'm there now. It doesn't seem possible that there was life before him. And now, three months later, he can interact with us and is a little person learning about the world.
Just last week, we heard his laugh for the first time. My heart just about melted. We had heard him giggling as he fell asleep a few times, but this was an all out laugh. And he has started to repeat sounds that we make, in particular, the closed-mouth raspberry. He's close to sitting up and he has mastered head control. His aim for grabbing things is right on target about 80% of the time. He tries his darnedest to crawl, such frustration with himself. He can roll over from his tummy to his back and is real close to going full circle. It's amazing how fast they learn. He was just a little rag doll that just laid there and stared at you just a few weeks ago.
Day by day, I fall more in love with him. He is by far been my greatest accomplishment. I am so proud to be a mommy, Zeke's mommy.
March 19, 2008
March 18, 2008
Northeaster of '07 blew in a baby boy.
Saturday, December 15, 2007. It was my last day of work before going on maternity leave and just over one week before our due date. So many people at work, co-workers and customers alike, were impressed I had been able to work full-time this far into my pregnancy. A busy restaurant job is an awful lot of walking, or running in some cases. Not to mention, my enlarged belly made it quite difficult to fit between the tables!
The previous Saturday night had been exceptionally busy, being so close to Christmas, there were a lot of shoppers around. During the shift, I started to feel some pre-labor pains, but they subsided once the night slowed down. The following Monday, our midwife reported that I was between three and four centimeters dilated and around 80% effaced. Ezekiel was on his way, but I still had two weeks to go until I was 40 weeks. Our midwife suggested packing a bag, just in case. I had been hearing from so many that you tend to be late with your first child, but I just knew he would be here before Christmas. When placing bets months ago on what day he would be born, I had guessed December 17th.
The next week went by without any pains. Ian and I wanted to go out on one last date before the baby came, so I switched my schedule around to have the night of the 15th off. We had planned on dinner and a movie. It was going to be a rush to get to the first evening show and the last show of the night would have brought us home past midnight, so we decided to postpone our date and have a quiet night at home.
December 16 - 3:47 am. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom, like I had been doing so often lately. I thought I felt a little 'pop' somewhere in my abdomen. I remember thinking it was a weird sensation, but in my sleepiness I guessed it was just a vertebra in my back snapping. I went back to bed, but was up again a few minutes later feeling like I hadn't 'gone' all the way. When I got up a third time, I finally turned on the light and saw a small speck of blood on the sheets. I woke up Ian and said, "I think my water just broke." It was by no means the gush that I had been expecting.
We got up and I paged our midwife and apologized for calling so early, but she informed me that she had just received a call from another one of her patients that her water had broken as well. We packed a few last minute things, called my mother and father, who were to watch our dogs while we were away and set off for the hospital. The forecast called for a big snowstorm that day, but it had yet to begin.
We spent some time in the admitting room and they tested me to make sure that my water had indeed broken. We heard back that it had and we would not be going home that day! Oh well, the 16th was close. I was just one day off. It took some time to get a room, the maternity ward was full. Apparently, it was a popular time to have a baby!
7:00 am. Finally settled in our room, I still wasn't really feeling any contractions and was encouraged to walk around to get things moving along. We called my mother and father to see that they had made it to our house alright and if the dogs were okay. They assured us they were and we started on one of many treks around the halls. I guess I was walking really fast, as my midwife commented that I wasn't just walking, I was striding. Just used to walking that fast at work, I suppose. I did get around pretty well for being 39 weeks pregnant!
11:30 am. The snow finally started a couple of hours prior and it came down fast and hard. I felt glad that we got to the hospital when we did as we watched it fill the parking lot from our window. I started to feel my first real contractions sometime mid-morning. They weren't very strong yet. My water had still not broken all the way, which, as my midwife explained, could be a reason for my lack of good contractions. The amniotic sac had popped up high and she could see fluid in front of the baby's head. She released the fluid, we did more walking, and there they are, ouch!
1:05 pm. The New England Patriots were playing the New York Jets. We took a little break from walking to watch the game. They had been, at that time, still undefeated. I was definitely feeling strong contractions now, or they seemed strong in comparison to the ones I had been having. I was starting to feel a little out of it from discomfort and sleepiness as I rocked back and forth on my yoga ball and leaned on my bed.
5:00 pm. Now over 13 hours since my water had first broken, I was getting curious as to how far along I had gotten. I was checked by our nurse, as our midwife was still tending to another patient that had given birth a couple of hours ago. 6 centimeters. Now came time to contemplate going on Pitocin to strengthen the contractions. I agreed that this was a good idea as the risk of infection grew the longer I was in labor.
6:00 pm. I was started on a small dose of Pitocin and started seeing, or rather feeling, the results almost immediately. Now, however, I had to stay connected to the monitor to ensure that our baby was doing okay. And all was still fine, I had great blood pressure and the baby's heart rate was reacting to the contractions nicely. Throughout the next few hours, the dose of Pitocin was raised and the contractions kept getting stronger and closer together. It was now getting difficult to cope with the pain, but I was determined to do this without medication. I didn't want to listen to music, I didn't want to look at the picture of our dogs I had brought for an object to focus on, I didn't want to open my eyes. I wanted to be in the dark, in the quiet, with no noise but my groans of discomfort. It felt very primal. Ian continued to be by my side, whispering words of encouragement. I was sure that he was tired, too.
9:00 pm. Our midwife checked me again. 8 centimeters. It seemed like it was taking forever to reach the magic number of 10, but at the same time I couldn't believe it was so late. Actually, I really had no clue at the time what time it was. It was suggested that I lay on my sides for a while to help move the baby down, so I did and the contractions became almost unbearable, but I just had to do it.
10:30 pm. I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom one last time, our midwife said I was probably close enough to push. I realized that I had my eyes shut most of the time, because when I opened them, Ian said, "There are those beautiful blue eyes." He was being so great. I felt relieved, as it had seemed like I had the urge to push for some time now. It felt so good. I no longer was feeling the pain, only initially when the next contraction came. But now, the exhaustion was setting in. I was pushing so hard, pulling with my arms, curling around our baby. Slowly, but surely, his head came into view. I reached down to feel, 'yes, he really was coming'. Our midwife said something to me. I thought she said she wanted to give me an episiotomy. I said, "no, I'm okay," but I found out from Ian later that instead, she wanted to give me a local anesthetic because it looked like I was going to tear. Either way, I was okay. One final contraction, a big push, out came his head.
December 17 - 12:02 am. One last push and I could feel him just about shoot out of me, but there was no pain. 20 hours and 15 minutes from start to finish and our Ezekiel was here! And on the 17th! Our midwife put him up on my chest. I don't remember what I said, I think it was "hi". I remember him having a little difficulty breathing, he hadn't yet cried, but I knew everything was going to be okay. I saw Ian cut the umbilical cord and they brought him over to the warmer to suction him, give him a little oxygen and all the other things they do immediately after birth. Ian went over and took his first picture outside the womb as they were weighing him. I guessed 7 pounds 8 ounces. Nope, 7 pounds, 3 ounces, I was close! He had such good color, but what a cone-head! Our midwife said that in 15 years of practice, she had never seen such a pointy head! He also had a slightly crooked nose, but both his head and nose were close to normal by the time we left the hospital two days later.
Neither of us slept much that night, I didn't at all. Even though I had just given birth and Ezekiel was sleeping in my arms, it amazingly still did not seem real! Just a few hours ago, I was pregnant, now there was a baby here. It seemed to happen so fast! All I could do was stare at the little baby boy that had been kicking me for months. He looked just like his dad, a little Ian. I was so excited to think of all the things we would experience together from that moment forward.
The previous Saturday night had been exceptionally busy, being so close to Christmas, there were a lot of shoppers around. During the shift, I started to feel some pre-labor pains, but they subsided once the night slowed down. The following Monday, our midwife reported that I was between three and four centimeters dilated and around 80% effaced. Ezekiel was on his way, but I still had two weeks to go until I was 40 weeks. Our midwife suggested packing a bag, just in case. I had been hearing from so many that you tend to be late with your first child, but I just knew he would be here before Christmas. When placing bets months ago on what day he would be born, I had guessed December 17th.
The next week went by without any pains. Ian and I wanted to go out on one last date before the baby came, so I switched my schedule around to have the night of the 15th off. We had planned on dinner and a movie. It was going to be a rush to get to the first evening show and the last show of the night would have brought us home past midnight, so we decided to postpone our date and have a quiet night at home.
December 16 - 3:47 am. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom, like I had been doing so often lately. I thought I felt a little 'pop' somewhere in my abdomen. I remember thinking it was a weird sensation, but in my sleepiness I guessed it was just a vertebra in my back snapping. I went back to bed, but was up again a few minutes later feeling like I hadn't 'gone' all the way. When I got up a third time, I finally turned on the light and saw a small speck of blood on the sheets. I woke up Ian and said, "I think my water just broke." It was by no means the gush that I had been expecting.
We got up and I paged our midwife and apologized for calling so early, but she informed me that she had just received a call from another one of her patients that her water had broken as well. We packed a few last minute things, called my mother and father, who were to watch our dogs while we were away and set off for the hospital. The forecast called for a big snowstorm that day, but it had yet to begin.
We spent some time in the admitting room and they tested me to make sure that my water had indeed broken. We heard back that it had and we would not be going home that day! Oh well, the 16th was close. I was just one day off. It took some time to get a room, the maternity ward was full. Apparently, it was a popular time to have a baby!
7:00 am. Finally settled in our room, I still wasn't really feeling any contractions and was encouraged to walk around to get things moving along. We called my mother and father to see that they had made it to our house alright and if the dogs were okay. They assured us they were and we started on one of many treks around the halls. I guess I was walking really fast, as my midwife commented that I wasn't just walking, I was striding. Just used to walking that fast at work, I suppose. I did get around pretty well for being 39 weeks pregnant!
11:30 am. The snow finally started a couple of hours prior and it came down fast and hard. I felt glad that we got to the hospital when we did as we watched it fill the parking lot from our window. I started to feel my first real contractions sometime mid-morning. They weren't very strong yet. My water had still not broken all the way, which, as my midwife explained, could be a reason for my lack of good contractions. The amniotic sac had popped up high and she could see fluid in front of the baby's head. She released the fluid, we did more walking, and there they are, ouch!
1:05 pm. The New England Patriots were playing the New York Jets. We took a little break from walking to watch the game. They had been, at that time, still undefeated. I was definitely feeling strong contractions now, or they seemed strong in comparison to the ones I had been having. I was starting to feel a little out of it from discomfort and sleepiness as I rocked back and forth on my yoga ball and leaned on my bed.
5:00 pm. Now over 13 hours since my water had first broken, I was getting curious as to how far along I had gotten. I was checked by our nurse, as our midwife was still tending to another patient that had given birth a couple of hours ago. 6 centimeters. Now came time to contemplate going on Pitocin to strengthen the contractions. I agreed that this was a good idea as the risk of infection grew the longer I was in labor.
6:00 pm. I was started on a small dose of Pitocin and started seeing, or rather feeling, the results almost immediately. Now, however, I had to stay connected to the monitor to ensure that our baby was doing okay. And all was still fine, I had great blood pressure and the baby's heart rate was reacting to the contractions nicely. Throughout the next few hours, the dose of Pitocin was raised and the contractions kept getting stronger and closer together. It was now getting difficult to cope with the pain, but I was determined to do this without medication. I didn't want to listen to music, I didn't want to look at the picture of our dogs I had brought for an object to focus on, I didn't want to open my eyes. I wanted to be in the dark, in the quiet, with no noise but my groans of discomfort. It felt very primal. Ian continued to be by my side, whispering words of encouragement. I was sure that he was tired, too.
9:00 pm. Our midwife checked me again. 8 centimeters. It seemed like it was taking forever to reach the magic number of 10, but at the same time I couldn't believe it was so late. Actually, I really had no clue at the time what time it was. It was suggested that I lay on my sides for a while to help move the baby down, so I did and the contractions became almost unbearable, but I just had to do it.
10:30 pm. I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom one last time, our midwife said I was probably close enough to push. I realized that I had my eyes shut most of the time, because when I opened them, Ian said, "There are those beautiful blue eyes." He was being so great. I felt relieved, as it had seemed like I had the urge to push for some time now. It felt so good. I no longer was feeling the pain, only initially when the next contraction came. But now, the exhaustion was setting in. I was pushing so hard, pulling with my arms, curling around our baby. Slowly, but surely, his head came into view. I reached down to feel, 'yes, he really was coming'. Our midwife said something to me. I thought she said she wanted to give me an episiotomy. I said, "no, I'm okay," but I found out from Ian later that instead, she wanted to give me a local anesthetic because it looked like I was going to tear. Either way, I was okay. One final contraction, a big push, out came his head.
December 17 - 12:02 am. One last push and I could feel him just about shoot out of me, but there was no pain. 20 hours and 15 minutes from start to finish and our Ezekiel was here! And on the 17th! Our midwife put him up on my chest. I don't remember what I said, I think it was "hi". I remember him having a little difficulty breathing, he hadn't yet cried, but I knew everything was going to be okay. I saw Ian cut the umbilical cord and they brought him over to the warmer to suction him, give him a little oxygen and all the other things they do immediately after birth. Ian went over and took his first picture outside the womb as they were weighing him. I guessed 7 pounds 8 ounces. Nope, 7 pounds, 3 ounces, I was close! He had such good color, but what a cone-head! Our midwife said that in 15 years of practice, she had never seen such a pointy head! He also had a slightly crooked nose, but both his head and nose were close to normal by the time we left the hospital two days later.
Neither of us slept much that night, I didn't at all. Even though I had just given birth and Ezekiel was sleeping in my arms, it amazingly still did not seem real! Just a few hours ago, I was pregnant, now there was a baby here. It seemed to happen so fast! All I could do was stare at the little baby boy that had been kicking me for months. He looked just like his dad, a little Ian. I was so excited to think of all the things we would experience together from that moment forward.
B.Z. (Before Zeke)
Our pregnancy was so smooth, I often found myself wondering, "what's so difficult about being pregnant?" I never got sick, never experienced extreme exhaustion, and worked right up to the day before going into labor. Lucky me, I guess, although I'd like to attribute it to being one of those who rarely get sick in the first place and am generally healthy to start.
We first found out that we were pregnant about a week after my brother and his wife had their first child, who, as I am finally writing this, is about to turn one. We had been trying for only the past month, the first month the test only revealed one line. The second month however, about two days before it was time to take the test, I had a feeling that this was it. I bought a new test, went to a children's store and bought a bib with the words, "I love my Daddy" as to surprise Ian when he returned home. I took the test as soon as I got home, and sure enough, two pink lines were present! All I can remember now, is going out onto the back porch and standing in the sunshine watching our dogs play and feeling excitement and still a little disbelief that I was going to be a mom.
The months went by and around my 16th week, I started to show and thought I could feel the first flutters of life. At this point, it seemed like it was going to be forever until our baby was born. Finally, our 20th week arrived and it was time to do the ultrasound to see exactly who was in there. It still didn't seem quite real yet. Sure enough, the technician didn't even need to say anything, almost immediately the evidence of a boy was right in front of us! I had apologized to Ian ahead of time, sure that I was going to get all emotional. However, when the time came, I just was staring at the screen thinking, "Wow, there really is something in there!" and Ian was the one with tears in his eyes. We left with our pictures of our little guy, our Ezekiel. Being able to call him a name, instead of just "the baby" and seeing evidence of his existence helped in making it much more of a reality. We were going to be parents. Holy crap! We were going to be parents!
Now the weeks and months seemed to fly by. I kept getting bigger and bigger and Ian took pictures of my belly's progress. December had already arrived and it seemed to be a scramble now to get things ready. I was going to be going on leave from work soon, Christmas was right around the corner, and two days before that, on the 23rd, our Ezekiel was due to arrive.
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